


Assassin Is Born

by Mercy_Rhyne



Series: Dance, Fucker, Dance [2]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: A bit of gore at some point, A hint of Dukexiety, Alternate Universe - Criminals, Alternate Universe - Superheroes/Superpowers, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders & Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders Are Twins, Drug Dealing, M/M, Manipulation, Minor Character Death, Minor Violence, Morally Grey Remus Sanders, Origin Story, Prequel, References to Dance Fucker Dance, Sort Of, Unethical Experimentation, Unsympathetic Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders, roman is a jerk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-22
Updated: 2020-11-10
Packaged: 2021-03-07 19:15:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 8
Words: 17,262
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26602813
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mercy_Rhyne/pseuds/Mercy_Rhyne
Summary: Roman and Remus Silver didn’t always have a troubled relationship. Quite the opposite, in fact. When the twins were younger, they were inseparable. They would do anything together. They would play together, creating elaborate worlds of fantasy, with dragons, wizards, elves and dwarves. They would make stories, much more intricate than anything a child of that age should be able to create.But that changed. If you asked Remus how, he wouldn't be able to answer that. It just did. And not for the better.
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders & Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders
Series: Dance, Fucker, Dance [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1882543
Comments: 8
Kudos: 13





	1. The Lights We Chase

**Author's Note:**

> Warnings: a tiny bit of fighting, a kid being an asshole (/perhaps implied bullying, depending on how you read it)

Roman and Remus Silver didn’t always have a troubled relationship. Quite the opposite, in fact. When the twins were younger, they were inseparable. They would do anything together. They would play together, creating elaborate worlds of fantasy, with dragons, wizards, elves and dwarves. They would make stories, much more intricate than anything a child of that age should be able to create. Stories of princes being kidnapped and in need of rescue, of pirate wars, of betrayal and heartbreak, of worlds needing to be saved by a pair of heroes. Of big, evil villains and life threatening plans. Anything one could think of, they had discussed. And maybe, the interest for the obscure and dark had always been there, lurking. 

Even at school, the twins were always together. They would always sit together and every break was spent together. Roman was quicker to make friends than Remus was, but the older of the two would always make sure that his brother was included in the games they were playing. 

Things weren’t always easy. Because while Roman made many friends easily and while he met plenty of nice people, there were always people at school that weren’t so nice. Every time that the young kid saw someone being mean to someone else, he would make sure to step in. He couldn’t let people abuse their power to target the younger, the weaker and the vulnerable. That was unfair, and he  _ hated  _ that. Life needed to be fair. 

So, whenever he saw a bully, he would make sure to stand up to them. Tell them that what they were doing was unfair. That it was mean and they should stop. Of course, this ended him up in trouble more often than not. Most bullies wouldn’t be too impressed by this small kid telling them what was mean or unfair. But that didn’t stop Roman. He maintained that same thought. He needed to stand up for all those victims. He couldn’t let them suffer alone. He couldn’t let this pass. Someone needed to do something about it. And even if it didn’t work out, he couldn’t just  _ stop _ . So maybe if he tried and tried and kept on trying, maybe he would have some sort of success eventually. Only a matter of time… right?

Years passed and while Roman and Remus remained close, they started going their separate ways. Roman made new friends, and Remus made a friend here and there. But as the kids went to middle school, they didn’t hang out as much as they used to. The twins both agreed that it was good for them to create their own lives. To not hang around each other as much. Because if they would do that, they’d eventually get to the point where they wouldn’t be able to live apart. They couldn’t build their whole identity on the shoulders of their brother. This was only healthy, right?

But despite the fact that they started going their separate ways, they still were close. Both Roman and Remus would die for their twin brother, and they knew this. 

In fact, one time, in eighth grade, Roman saw his brother in an argument with someone else. Beau Geralds, a real son of a bitch from the year above them. He’d harassed Remus more often, trying to pick a fight, trying to get a rise out of him, annoying him to no end with no sign of letting up. And to be fair, that was getting on Roman’s nerves. No one could mess with his twin brother and get away with it! Other than Roman himself, of course, because he knew that he didn’t mean any harm. It was just his job as the older brother to mess with Remus. Just as much as it was his job to look out for his baby brother. 

So, even though Beau was older, bigger and most likely stronger than Roman was, he stormed up to the two. 

“Excuse me,” he said with a sickly sweet smile that was most definitely fake, “I don’t think he wants to be talking to you right now, so I would suggest you take your leave, yeah?”

Beau scoffed, clearly not intimidated by this child. He crossed his arms in front of his chest and gave the younger teen a mocking smile. “And what are you going to do about it, Twinkle Toes, jazz hands at me?”

“Oh I’ll do much more than just jazz hands if you don’t get moving.” Roman glared at the other as he gently pushed Remus back, putting himself between his brother and Beau. 

“Right.” Beau was clearly not convinced that this kid was a threat. “I’m terrified.”

He should be. Roman had been taking Krav Maga classes. But Beau didn’t know that. Of course he didn’t; why would he bother keeping up with who did what? Especially some insignificant kid who did theatre every now and then. But he had to admit, it was amusing to see this kid trying to intimidate him. He had seen worse than a thirteen year old. 

“I’m giving you one more chance to get out of here,” Roman said, clenching his hands into fists. He was already mentally going over everything he learned, trying to perfect his stance, because something told him that Beau wasn’t going to step back. 

And that something was right. No, the older teenager just laughed and shook his head. “You got some balls, Twinkle Toes, I’ll give you that.”

Behind him, Remus was softly calling out to Roman and pulling on his jacket in an attempt to pull him away from this scene. Honestly, he just wanted to leave before anything happened. But his attempts soon proved fruitless, because Roman jumped forwards, pushing himself forwards with his back foot and jumped, his fist easily making contact with Beau’s jaw. Immediately after, he kicked his knee into Beau’s groin. 

As the other bent over, Roman turned around, quickly ushering his brother away before anything else could happen. 

This action, while appreciated by his brother, ended Roman up in some trouble. Or, rather, a  _ lot  _ of trouble. Beau hadn’t appreciated the younger teen’s deed and had made sure to let him know. Backed up by a few friends of his own. Even Roman’s Krav Maga couldn’t do much against that. 

It was this moment, amongst others, that led Roman to believe that, yes, the world was unfair, and there was nothing he could do about that. Some people were stronger than others and if you were one of the weak ones, then there was no hope for you. Only the strong survived. No matter how much people liked to think that survival of the fittest didn’t apply to them, no matter how much people liked to say that everyone was equal, it was simply  _ not true.  _ You didn’t survive as an outcast. You didn’t survive as the weakest link. Only the strong survived. It was survival of the fittest through and through. Society was survival of the fittest. 

Well, if that was the case, then Roman was determined to be the fittest. 


	2. Don't You Know That You're Toxic?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: minor character death, explosion
> 
> (There's one inconsistency with Dance, Fucker, Dance if you squint but it's okay)

After that little revelation, something happened between the twins. Remus noticed the difference almost immediately, even though it was small — Roman was his  _ twin brother, _ of course he noticed. Roman started to isolate himself more, abandoning his old friends and Remus for the most part, hanging out with other people. People he seemed to think were more worthy of his time. And while it stung for a little while, Remus accepted it. It hurt, but part of him hoped that Roman would turn back around soon enough. He didn’t, but Remus still had some sort of hope. 

And then, they graduated high school. Remus had already decided he wanted to do chemistry, Roman had said he wanted to take a year off to think about what he wanted to do with his life. In that year, Remus hardly saw his brother. Roman was always out with friends, travelling to remote places, or meeting with them in odd locations. But for the most part, Roman was away, and unavailable to anyone other than his friends. 

One day, he was out, having a drink with a friend of his, Raven Tess. The two of them were talking, using Raven’s break from work as a moment to have a drink and catch up. Raven, who was just a few years older, worked at the lab across the street. They were part of an experiment that was supposed to be confidential, testing a relatively new particle, only known as ‘grey matter’. But Raven, knowing that this particle and its properties could be a big help in a project they had discussed with Roman not too long ago, decided to ignore that and tell Roman all the details of the project. Of course, not before the latter had promised not to say a word about it to anyone — a promise he was intent on keeping. After all, he didn’t want the wrong people to hear about this. That could be wildly inconvenient. Not to mention that Raven had to keep their job if they wanted to succeed on this. So, he kept quiet about everything he heard. 

It was during one of these meetings, that something happened in the lab across the street. Because though Raven was on a break, not everyone was. Some people were still running experiments and tests. And that’s when something went wrong. No one knew exactly what; the substance had likely been overstimulated, causing it to lash out. But they hadn’t been able to discover  _ exactly  _ what caused this. They had been too scared to recreate the circumstances. But something happened, and it caused an explosion, originating from the tested matter.

The weird thing is, the buildings in the vicinity were intact. Nothing had happened; everything seemed to be okay. Except the people in the street had most definitely been affected. The blast of energy seemed to faze through the walls and windows. But it couldn’t seem to faze through people or animals, who were knocked down by the force. Even though no one could see the shockwave, people were hurt. Some people were hit with a force strong enough to push them into a wall, some with lethal outcomes. Some people were hurt, but didn’t seem to be in any danger. And some people, like Roman or Raven, while knocked down… were unscathed. Sure, they might have a few bruises here and there, but nothing else. 

“What the fuck was that?” Roman asked through gritted teeth as he and his friend got to their feet. 

Raven shook their head, about to respond that they had no damn clue, when their phone buzzed in their pocket. And with one look at the text… “It’s the lab,” they said hurriedly, immediately making a connection between the explosion and the text. “They need me. I’ll call you later.”

“But- wait-” But they had already dashed through the door, not looking back at their friend for a second. Roman grumbled something to himself and walked out the door, not looking back at the other people that had been affected by the freak explosion. 

Later that day, he went home for a change. He hadn’t heard anything from Raven yet, other than that something had happened at work and they were all trying to find out what it was. Roman wasn’t happy about being brushed off like this, but he’d have to accept it. Grudgingly. 

When he came back, his mother greeted him excitedly, as she always did. She was always glad to see her oldest son, especially since he was gone so much lately. And usually, Roman would be glad to see her too, even though he wouldn’t make it as clear as she did. But today, he wasn’t in the mood. Not for her usual greetings, anyways. 

So, when she moved in to hug her son, Roman softly pushed her to the side, trying to say that he didn’t feel like it right now, that he’d explain later. But as he did so, he felt something, like a rush of power travelling through his body. It felt the way one would imagine a flash of warm, welcome light would feel if it was inside your body. And at the same time, his mother fell down to the ground, her body seemingly unmoving. 

Roman’s hand recoiled and he looked at the body on the ground. She really didn’t move. Even when Roman called out for her, or when he poked her. For a few seconds, he stood there, frozen and unsure of what to do. He didn’t know what just happened, he didn’t understand why his mother fell down at his touch, and he didn’t know why, among all the terror, he felt this rush of elation. He didn’t understand. But he didn’t want to figure it out here, either. Not in front of his mother’s dead body, where anyone could see and question him. So, he quickly turned around and ran out of the house. 

He ran into his father on the way out, and as the man tried to stop him, Roman grabbed his wrist and watched him fall down, feeling that same energy surge and rush of elation. It felt so much better than it logically  _ should. _ At this point, he wasn’t sure if it was an accident anymore. 

Remus, from his room, just saw his brother turning the corner of the street, wondering what the hell was going on in that stupid head of his this time.

Later that day, Roman got a little more clarity. Raven had been released from their job and they gave him the updates. It was still unclear what had happened exactly, but they knew there had been an explosion caused by the grey matter. Roman mentioned what had happened with his parents, and Raven noted that the explosion seemed to have affected some people at the lab as well. They weren’t quite sure how or what, but they were more than happy to run some tests on Roman to see what had happened, what it all meant. An offer that Roman took up without a second thought. 

He decided to crash at Raven’s place that night, not wanting to deal with Remus. His brother would undoubtedly be pissed when he found out what had happened and Roman couldn’t be bothered to put up with that. Of course, that left Remus to deal with the lifeless bodies of his parents, all by himself. Which wasn’t what one would call an easy task. Seeing the bodies of his parents was bad enough, knowing that it had to be related to Roman was even worse. But the fact that his brother ignored all his calls and texts made it even worse somehow. 

Not that Roman minded, though. He didn’t think about any of that. His mind was only focused on what was going on with himself. On what it meant for him and on what he might be able to do with these newfound powers. Obviously, he had to learn how to control them somehow, but… that would be a piece of cake, right? 

Raven wasn’t able to figure out exactly what was going on, but they did find that there was some sort of mutation in Roman’s cells. Upon further investigations over the course of the next few months, they realised that this mutation allowed his cells to rejuvenate, regenerate and heal with the intake of energy from other forms of life. Roman’s touch allowed him to take in that energy from others. And it often resulted in death, but if he focussed enough, he found that he was able to control the energy flow and simply daze people temporarily instead of killing them. 

And Roman wasn’t the only one who had gotten abilities from this explosion. Raven had gained the ability to create some sort of shield, though it took a long time to perfect this ability to the point that these shields could actually protect them somehow. On top of that, it seemed like more people had been affected. Some people didn’t show any signs of powers like Roman and Raven, but others did. 

In the months that followed that, Roman and Raven spent much more time together, trying to figure out how they could use this knowledge, this mutation and this grey matter to their advantage. The lab wouldn’t allow them to run tests for their own personal use, so Raven created their own substance, based on the grey matter’s signature. They tried, at least. It took them a while, but eventually, they made it work. Now all they needed was a test subject.


	3. Found a Way to Cope, Needle in His Throat

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: (non-consensual) experimentation on humans, arguing, death threats, manipulation

It was almost a year after the explosion. The death of the twins’ parents had never been solved. The police had picked up Remus’ statement and they had questioned Roman, but without understanding the cause of death, without witnesses or proof, there wasn’t anything they could do. And Remus hated it, because he was so sure that Roman had to be behind this one way or another. Two healthy people like his parents didn’t just die of a heart attack on the same day. At almost the exact same time. No, that didn’t feel real. That couldn’t be it. But there was nothing else that any of them could do. He hated it. 

After that day, Remus hadn’t heard much of his older brother. He didn’t mind, though. He didn’t have much to say to him anyways. It seemed that Roman didn’t have much to say to him either. And yes, it hurt, but he would never admit that. Roman had proven to be a real jackass over these past years. And while Remus still remembered how his brother had been before he turned all evil and bad, he knew that wasn’t the reality anymore. The reality was that his parents were dead and all he had now was a stupid ass twin brother would could barely be bothered to send him a text on their goddamned birthday. 

Which is exactly why it was such a shock to Remus when he woke up to see a text from his brother one day. Roman told him that he was sorry about how he had been acting. And to make up for it, he wanted to show Remus something he and a friend had been working on. 

Remus was skeptical. He didn’t trust his brother  _ at all.  _ It was weird to hear from him after all this time, and for him to apologise? That was even weirder. But Remus was also so damn curious — a quality that had gotten him into trouble a lot when he was a kid. And on top of that, he didn’t think that it could be  _ that  _ bad. Roman was an idiot but Remus was stronger than he was. If he did try anything, Remus would kick his ass. 

So he accepted. He accepted and joined Roman to this lab where he knew one of Roman’s friends worked. Or maybe it was an internship. He didn’t know. One of Roman’s friends did  _ something  _ there. Remus wondered what the hell they would do at a lab of all places. 

“Fancy seeing you here, Ro-Ro,” he said with a grin he only half meant. As he approached, Remus noticed that Roman wore gloves, even though it was almost summer. Odd. 

Roman chuckled at the old nickname and nodded. “Yeah, I suppose it is,” he nodded. He gave Remus a smile, and for a second, it almost seemed as if he was  _ actually  _ happy to see his younger twin. Remus doubted it, though. “Look, I really am sorry. About this past…”

“Yeah, yeah, I get it.” The younger of the two brushed it off with a dismissive wave of his hand. “Just… get it over with, will you?”

“I see we’re in a rush,” Roman said in an attempt at a joke to lighten the tense mood between the two of them. It failed. “Very well. Follow me.”

The twins walked further into the lab. There were some rooms occupied here and there, but it really wasn’t as busy as he had expected it to be. Eventually, the two of them stopped in front of a door and Roman swung it open, gesturing for his brother to enter first. Remus looked at the older twin warily, but entered. Someone else — Roman’s friend, no doubt — was sat in the middle of the room, next to a medical table. Other than that, Remus didn’t see much in the room. But he also didn’t have the chance to see much, because he just felt a hand pushing against the back of his neck before his knees gave in and everything turned black around him. 

When Remus opened his eyes again, he noticed how blurry everything was and how hazy his brain was. Like there was a thick fog swirling inside, rather than brains. If that made sense. He could barely think. 

It took him a few more blinks to notice that he was laying down. And not just that, but he was also strapped down. His wrists — and, as he noticed a few seconds later, his ankles — had been tied to whatever surface he was laying on. Some weird devices were attached to both his forearms and Roman was talking to someone about something, but the words sounded like gibberish to him. 

The light was bright and Remus tried to lift his arm to shield his eyes, but- right. He was tied up. Why was he tied up to begin with? Who had thought that would be a good idea? He knew it wasn’t him, that’s for sure. 

Above him, Roman asked something. And Remus was just able to see his face if he squinted against the light. From the way Roman looked at him, Remus was sure that he had been asked a question, but he didn’t understand. It still sounded like gibberish to him. He just let out a soft murmur and hoped that would suffice. He reasoned it did, because Roman grinned and turned his attention to something in his hands. 

Not much later, Remus felt a hand on his upper arm, followed by a sting. It wasn’t painful, but it was very annoying and Remus made sure to inform the others of that. He was sure that they’d understood, because the stinging sensation disappeared rather quickly after that. He felt the exact same thing in his other arm, though, but it was much quicker than the first time, so he didn’t complain. He didn’t feel like it, either. He was tired and just wanted to sleep. Everything was so fuzzy and vague and he didn’t like not being able to understand what was going on. Maybe some sleep would help. 

Remus closed his eyes — it was terribly hard to keep them open anyways. Maybe he’d be able to get some more sleep. He felt some things happening — something was attached to his finger and it pinched him slightly, but he didn’t seem to be able to brush it off. Something was wrapped around his upper arms, but it wasn’t tight so he didn’t mind it too much. 

However, he very quickly started to mind when something started to sting. Far more than what they had done beforehand. It  _ hurt  _ so badly and it hurt his entire body and it didn’t seem to stop and he didn’t like it. It hurt so, so much. He didn’t want to let it show, though. Even as fuzzy and vague as he was right now, he had some dignity. He stifled his soft gasp and instead tried to pull away from whatever it was that was causing this pain. There was some soft chatter in the background, but that seemed to stop after Remus heard a loud snap. And another not long after.

The noise stopped, the stinging stopped, the fuzz stopped for a moment. Everything stopped and after a few blinks, Remus felt like the weird fog in his brain was starting to let up. He realised where he was, strapped to a medical table, his arms dangling to his sides, their bonds broken. Attached to his arms were several small threads and wires, connected to a bigger device next to the medical table. There were several small syringes on a tray nearby. Remus pushed himself up and gave the surroundings a quick look before he kicked himself up, tearing the bonds that kept his legs down so easily that he was surprised he hadn’t broken them earlier. 

In a rush of clarity, he jumped off the table and pushed Roman into the wall behind him with surprising strength. Roman’s friend, whatever their name was, tried to grab his arm, but Remus managed to push them away with surprising ease. He didn’t want to think about all of this. He didn’t want to be here. He didn’t care about what the other two called after him. He didn’t care that his head was still spinning. He couldn’t stay here when they just- when they- 

He couldn’t stay. 

Remus slammed the door behind him, causing a loud slam that almost made the walls shake, and then he ran. He ran as fast as he could and made it home rather quickly — definitely quicker than he usually did, but Remus blamed it on the fact that everything was still blurry and his head was still spinning, so he couldn’t keep track of time. 

He made it home and opened the door. As he pulled the door open, it seemed that he had used so much force that he didn’t just open it, but he pulled it from its hinges entirely. Remus stared at the door for a second. Was he hallucinating, or was this  _ actually  _ happening? 

A quick inspection told him that, no, he was actually holding the door in his hand. That was… not normal. And now he had to get the door fixed. Great. 

He’d call someone for that, Remus decided as he stepped inside, carefully trying to put the door back to at least make it  _ seem  _ normal. 

And this incident wasn’t the only one. After being home for just a few minutes, he’d already crushed a plastic bottle while trying to open it, pulled a cabinet door from its hinges and broken a glass with his bare hands. And even more noticeably, the latter didn’t even give him any wounds. Even though he definitely should have gotten hurt seeing as he held several sharp shards of glass in his hand. He was  _ fine _ . And Remus didn’t know  _ what _ Roman had done, but it was clear that it had fucked him up and he was going to make sure that his stupid twin brother would know that if they ever met again. 

As they say; speak of the devil and he shall appear. Because right that moment, someone rang the doorbell. Remus groaned and got up, not wanting to deal with whoever would be waiting for him on the other side of the door. 

He still opened it, though. Or… he grabbed the door and pushed it to the side, seeing as it still hadn’t been put back where it belonged. Remus had hardly gotten the time to breathe in the first place. 

To his frustration, the person in front of his door-shaped hole was none other than his twin brother, who looked at the door with a confused smirk before walking inside as if he owned the place. Which he clearly didn’t, since he didn’t respond when Remus brought up the issue of ‘what are we gonna do with the house now mom and dad are gone’? So he didn’t have the right. 

“I thought you’d go here,” he commented as he tried to walk into the corridor. Before he could continue, Remus wrapped a hand around his brother’s throat and lifted him with surprising ease. Just another one of many weird surprises, Remus noted as he pinned his brother against the wall, looking at him with a glare so hot he was surprised he hadn’t burned through Roman’s head yet. 

“Why are you here?” he demanded, ignoring the fact that the door was still… open. Kind of. 

“Is it so weird I want to check in on my baby brother?”

Remus wanted to punch Roman in his stupid face. The only reason he didn’t, is that he feared that he might accidentally coat the wall in his blood and brains and he didn’t want to deal with that. But Roman was… such a fucking idiot. 

“Yes,” Remus hissed. “After whatever it is you did to me?  _ Yes,  _ it really fucking is, Roman.”

“What are you talking about?” Roman tried so hard to be innocent and sweet, but he was a dumbass if he thought that Remus would fall for that. He wouldn’t. He _ wouldn’t. _

“You fucking  _ know  _ what I mean.”

“Come on, don’t tell me you don’t like this,” Roman smirked, looking down at his younger brother. “This power?”

“I’m gonna like it a whole lot more when I’ve torn you apart,” Remus hissed. It was an empty threat. Even with how furious he was, he couldn’t kill his brother. Unlike  _ some  _ people in this room, he wasn’t a cold-hearted killer. He wouldn’t kill his family. Even if he hated him right now, even if he wanted nothing more than to send him straight to hell. 

“Re, seriously,” the other attempted, not impressed by this threat. “I wanted to help you. Anyone would kill for a chance like this! I did this for you! I wanted to  _ help.” _

“You had  _ no right.  _ You have no right to do this shit,” the younger sibling said, a growl in his voice as he felt his body starting to tremble. “Not without fucking consent like a normal goddamn human being. You can’t fuck with my body like that, Roman. No one fucking can.”

“I thought you’d want this.”

“If you thought so, then fucking  _ ask _ ,” Remus spat. He finally let go of Roman, the trembling in his body becoming too much. He felt tears of fury burning but he couldn’t cry, didn’t  _ want _ to cry. Not here. Not now. “Get the fuck out of my house. I don’t want to see you again.”

But Roman didn’t move. He gave Remus those big puppy eyes he always used to give Remus when they were kids and he was trying to convince Remus to do that one thing he wanted to, or if he was trying to apologise. But those eyes didn’t work on Remus now. “Re, please-”

“Get the fuck out of my house, Roman.” He balled his hands into fists. If he had to, he knew he could get his brother out easily. The only issue was keeping him out, with the door in less than working condition, that was easier said than done. 

“Please, don’t do this, I’m  _ sorry,”  _ Roman tried once more. “It’s just- I felt bad. And since… you’re my only family, I- I wanted to… do something and I… You know I’ve always looked out for you!”

“Then where were you this past year?” 

Remus crossed his arms with a displeased scowl. He wasn’t amused, but at least he wasn’t trying to kick Roman out yet. That was something. 

“Right.” The older of the two deflated slightly at the mention. “I’m sorry. I was embarrassed, I didn’t know what to do, I had just gotten these powers and I didn’t want to hurt you, I-”

“You  _ killed  _ mom and dad, Roman,” Remus interrupted harshly, feeling a twisted satisfaction as he saw his brother flinch back. “You’re pretty bad at the ‘not hurting me’ part of things.”

“It was an accident!” Roman tried. “Remus please…” He took a few careful steps closer. Remus kept an eye on him, but didn’t do anything to maintain the gap between them. “You know I would never hurt you — or them — on purpose! I’ve always been there for you. Remember eighth grade?”

Remus looked away. He knew that Roman had been there for him for a good part of their youth. And he had never thought of his brother as a killer. But part of him felt like it wasn’t even the killing part he was upset about. Of course, he  _ was  _ upset. His parents had died, way too soon, and that hurt so much. He couldn’t even put it into words. But if Roman had talked to him about it, if he had cleared up the situation instead of running away with his tail between his legs, maybe Remus would have been a little more forgiving. But Roman didn’t even  _ try  _ to talk to him. And yeah, that was just salt in the wound. Killing his parents was an accident? Fine. If he had these new, strange powers, Remus might be able to understand eventually. But Roman didn’t even try to say anything. That was the worst part. He didn’t even  _ try. _

“Look… I’m sorry.” Roman took another careful step closer to his brother. “But please… let me prove it, yeah? We’re all we have now, yeah? Please… I want to make it up to you.”

“You can start by getting out.”

Roman looked down at his feet and remained silent for a little bit. He bit his lower lip. “I truly wanted to help,” he said softly. “I mean… look at you! You’re… so much stronger.” He gestured to the front door. “Isn’t that great?”

“It’s not about that,” Remus said, starting to get frustrated. Roman really didn’t see the big picture here, did he? He really didn’t get the biggest issue here, did he? “You didn’t  _ ask.  _ If you had just asked me…”

“You would have said no.”

Roman was right. Remus wouldn’t have said yes. Especially not after not having heard from his older brother for a year. But he wasn’t going to admit that. “I might have  _ considered  _ it.”

Another silence followed. But finally, Roman nodded. “Very well,” he said softly. “I’m sorry, I understand. I just wanted to help, but… I suppose I didn’t do it well. I’m sorry, I- I’ll go.”

He gave his twin one look before he walked away, leaving the other in a stunned silence. Did that really just happen? Did Roman just really… admit defeat? Just like that? That was a first. It was weird. But Remus wasn’t complaining either. He didn’t want to be around his brother for much longer, so any reason to get rid of him was a good one. 

He shook his head and sighed as he walked to the door, placing it back in front of the hole where it used to be and went back inside. He could worry about his twin later. First, he had to call someone to get his door fixed.


	4. Had You Had the Chance Today, You Could've Sold Out Too

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: drug dealing, mention of gang violence

In the weeks that followed, Roman and Remus had little contact. That wasn’t too different from how things had been previously, though there were moments where they would talk. Initiated by Roman, every single time. He tried to apologise, make some conversation with his brother and usually Remus would respond with short responses. A ‘yes’, a ‘no’, never saying more than he absolutely had to. And even that was generous. Roman was lucky Remus responded at all after what he had done. 

Their parents’ death had messed Roman up. Remus understood that. Roman kept saying how it was an accident, how he didn’t mean to. He just touched them, and… they dropped down. And if it was the truth, that really was scary. Remus could understand that suddenly being able to kill people with a single touch was terrifying. And he could even excuse Roman keeping his distance for a few weeks, maybe a few months. But other than that… he couldn’t find it in himself to stretch his sense of understanding any more. Roman had no excuse. And while he was so _furious_ at Roman for everything he had done, while he wanted so badly to hate him… it was so difficult. 

Roman had been right, after all. He was the only family he had left. There was no one else. How could he hate the only family member he still had? Even with everything… how could he hate his twin brother? They had been so close in their youth, how could he possibly hate Roman? They’d spent their entire youth together… how could it come to this? Even though he _wanted_ to, how could he hate his brother? 

On top of everything, he needed to get these newfound powers under control. It seemed that he had obtained superhuman strength after… what Roman had done. And getting all of that under control was difficult. Multiple doors had to suffer, he’d never bought as many glasses in such a short amount of time. Pens, paper, packaging, it was no match for him. And he needed to figure out exactly how to act and what to do so that he didn’t ruin every single thing he touched. Slowly but surely, he managed. But it was difficult. 

Something more interesting, though, was something he had learned over the course of his many broken glasses. Because, it would seem that the shards of glass didn’t hurt him. Or, well… they sometimes did. But most of the time, they didn’t. Even when he picked up the sharpest shard he could find and stabbed it into his arm, it just shattered, instead of hurting him. The odd thing was, though, that this didn’t always happen. Every now and then, he would still be able to get hurt. Mostly if he wasn’t paying attention to what he was doing at the time. And he had no idea what was up with this strange, steely skin situation, but he learned to control it over time. It was still a struggle, but every time he did it, it grew easier and easier. 

He just continued living his life. He still went to uni, he got a job, tried to put up with his stupid brother’s stupid texts. Everything was fine. 

Until Roman showed up in front of his door again. 

Remus hadn’t expected to see his brother again so soon. Or… ever, really. The past few months had been going pretty well without Roman in his life. And here he was now… great. 

“I don’t have time,” he sighed, already moving to close the door before Roman stopped it with his foot. Of course he did. Remus glared at it, part of him wondering if he’d be strong enough to cut off Roman’s foot by pulling the door shut anyways. But he decided to give Roman the benefit of the doubt just one time. 

“Look, I know you don’t want to see me and you hate my guts, I _know,_ I just… need help and you’re the best person I can think of.”

‘The best person’? Remus doubted it. Roman had always been good with people. They always liked him. He had enough friends who would be willing to help him. No, it was probably not important enough for any of them, so Roman decided to bother Remus with it. But he couldn’t say he wasn’t curious. 

“Help?” He crossed his arms in front of his chest. 

Roman seemed a little relieved that Remus wasn’t going to close the doors on him, straightening his back slightly. “Yes, help,” he repeated with a nod, searching for something in his pockets before pulling out a slightly crumpled up envelope. “I need to deliver this to someone, I can’t send it by mail, and I know they live near the campus, so…”

“A letter?” Remus scoffed. “You need me to play mailman, that’s it? Why don’t you deliver the letter yourself, ran out of legs?”

Roman shook his head, straightening the piece of paper in his head. “They can’t see it’s me delivering it,” he justified. “It’s complicated, but if people see it’s me, it could end up ruining things.”

There was a moment of silence as Remus looked at his older brother. That was probably the dumbest thing he had ever heard. But he was used to that, since he knew exactly which idiot he was dealing with. Although, even then, it was almost unprecedentedly stupid. 

He stayed silent for a while, weighing his options, before he sighed and snatched the letter from Roman’s hands. It was surprisingly heavy for such a small envelope. There was something inside it as well. Which… made sense, since that was what envelopes are for. But it wasn’t some piece of paper, no there was a small object inside it. Remus looked at his twin with a raised eyebrow. 

“What's in it, anyways?” He made to open the envelope, but Roman’s gloved hand stopped him. Of course, Remus didn’t actually want to open the envelope, but the reaction he got out of his twin was obvious enough. It was important. Secret. And whatever it was that was in this thing… he doubted it was anything good. 

“None of your business.”

And that was the final confirmation Remus needed. Something was going on. Did it have to do with the experiment on him? It had to be, he just knew it.

“Alright, I see what it is,” the younger twin grinned smugly as he leaned against the door frame. “You’re doing something shady. Alright, I won’t judge your little drug empire. What's in it for me, though? I do hope you know I’m not doing this out of the goodness of your heart. Because you kind of wasted that little extra when you decided to fuck with my body without my permission.”

Roman knew that this question would have come, he had been prepared for this. It hurt him, but he knew Remus was a stubborn little fucker. Just like himself. In any other case, Roman would have approved of an attitude like this, but not when it was _him_ on the other side. 

“They’ll pay,” he answered quickly. “5k, cash. You take half of it, I take the other half.” It hurt, but it was a small investment to make. If everything went well, this would pay off. 

Remus’ eyebrows shot up upon hearing this. “5k for a little envelope?” he wondered, studying the little paper thing in his hand with new interest. He couldn’t imagine what it contained that it would ever justify someone paying such an amount. But he couldn’t say he cared anymore. Two and a half thousand dollars was a _lot_. Especially for a small little task like that. He might hate his brother, but he valued money. His broke ass could really use some extra money. 

“Fine,” he conceded. “Just… give me the address and get out of my sight.”

The person he had to deliver it to, Travis Winston, lived about five minutes away from the campus. He took the envelope and gave Remus another envelope in return. Then, he closed the door and Remus went his own way. And Roman hadn’t lied. Five thousand dollars were hidden in that small paper envelope. Remus took half of it and handed the rest to his brother when he passed by that evening.

And even though he had said that he would leave it at this one time… he couldn’t say no to a bit of extra money. Roman asked him for help a few more times and even though Remus still wasn’t okay with him… the prices quickly rose and Remus couldn’t say no to that money. He would be an idiot to turn down an opportunity like that. 

Of course, that was the dumbest move of his life, but he didn’t know that at the time. At the time, it felt like the best choice he could make. 

Remus started to notice changes rather quickly. Not necessarily in Roman, but in his city. For as long as he could remember, there were a couple of gangs competing, trying to get dominance over the area. There were multiple gangs, but the two most notable were the Dragontooth gang and a relatively new gang — yet still a couple years of age — that was either nameless or had a thousand names, depending on who you asked. After a while, people started calling it The Gang. Vague as it was, everyone knew who you were talking about when you talked about The Gang. The others all had names. No one called them a simple gang, they used the proper names. But the new one, which grew unreasonably fast, was still nameless. It was _The_ Gang. 

Other gangs tried to get between the two, but they hardly ever succeeded. Neither of the two big forces wanted anyone else to get in their way. They already had enough to worry about. 

But Remus noticed a change. The part of town where he lived was considered safe, so he had nothing to worry about. But there seemed to be more violence going around. From The Gang’s side, specifically. More and more Dragontooth members showed up dead. Of course, this meant the Dragontooth would retaliate. And that, in turn, provoked The Gang. It was all a cycle. And Remus wasn’t sure that it was a coincidence that it started pretty soon after Roman started doing his… whatever his shady envelope-business was. 

A few weeks after this had happened, Remus found himself on his way to Roman’s apartment. Unfortunately so; he didn’t really want to go there, but he didn’t really have a choice. He needed to talk to Roman about this dumb secret envelope shit. He mostly wanted to know what was up with that. And since Roman brushed it off every time he came to Remus… no better place to ask him about it in his own apartment, where there was no way for him to escape. So… he was here now. 

Reluctantly, Remus knocked on the door and waited for someone to open it and allow him to enter. It took a moment, but finally, he heard footsteps approaching before the door opened, showing Roman standing in the door opening. Just his face, though. He had his door slightly ajar, in a way that clearly showed he was hiding something. 

“Oh, hey,” the older brother said in a confused tone, “Re. What are you doing here?”

“I need to talk to you.” Remus raised an eyebrow as he looked at his twin’s bodiless head. “Can I come in?”

“Come in? Oh- that’s… not great timing,” Roman tried to brush off. “I’m kind of busy, and…”

“I won’t be long,” Remus insisted. The way Roman tried to dodge this pissed him off. It was so clear that he was hiding something, it was actually annoying. “Just… let me in and I’ll be out of your hair in a few minutes, yeah?”

A few seconds of silence followed. Roman’s eyes darted to his room for a fraction of a second, as if he was hoping to hide this glance from his younger brother. He hesitated, didn’t _quite_ meet Remus’ eyes, before he sighed. 

“Fine,” he huffed, opening the door a bit more. “You have five minutes.”

Remus hummed softly and stepped inside. He didn’t think he needed much more than five minutes. If Roman decided to answer his questions, that is. 

As he stepped inside, Remus made sure to look around the room to figure out what Roman was hiding from him. But he didn’t have to look very long, because on the couch in the living area, he saw a face that was familiar. Remus wasn’t always good with names, but he knew faces very well. And this was one he’d seen before. The first time he delivered one of Roman’s stupid envelopes. 

“I thought he couldn’t see you? Or whatever bullshit excuse you had.” Remus sat down on a small chair that was clearly pulled from the table in the kitchen. As he said this, he looked at his brother with a raised eyebrow. He didn’t know what was going on, but he knew that he didn’t trust this stranger at all. Everything about him screamed shady ass motherfucker. Especially the fact that he was willing to pay for unmarked envelopes with thousands of dollars in cash. 

“Change of plans,” Roman simply said as he closed the door behind him. “Remus, that’s Travis, Travis, you’ve met Remus. Great, that’s all out of the way.” He rolled his eyes and sat down on the couch next to Travis. “You wanted to talk?”

Remus just nodded at Travis before he turned to Roman. “Yeah,” he nodded. “It’s about your whole… business.” He stopped slightly, seeing the two others tense up slightly and Travis sent a quick look at the older twin. Curious. “Seriously, what the hell are you doing? And what is he doing here? Why go through all the effort not to be seen earlier if you’re just gonna drink tea together anyways?”

Before Roman could even open his mouth, Travis cut in. “He doesn’t know?”

Roman shook his head, not looking at the man next to him, but instead locking eyes with his brother. “Like I said,” he started slowly. “Change of plans.”

“That doesn’t tell me anything.”

“Travis and I are working together,” Roman said. “Things worked out well, so we’re working together. That’s all you need to know.”

Remus huffed in frustration, hitting his thighs slightly. “That still doesn’t answer _anything_ ,” he chuckled — even though he was anything but amused. “That doesn’t tell me what the hell is going on with those envelopes and why people pay thousands of dollars in _cash._ I just want to know what you’re doing, is that so much to ask? Because, if you forgot, I’m helping you, too. I deserve to know what the hell is going on.” 

Roman let out a long sigh and looked at Travis. “What do you say?” he asked, nodding his head towards Remus. “Could be useful, I suppose?”

“Is he the guy you…” Travis didn’t finish what he was going to ask, but it was clearly enough for Roman to understand, since he nodded. “I see… It’s up to you but… could be useful? I don’t see why not.”

“Great job not being suspicious there,” Remus commented softly, crossing his arms as he followed the exchange. 

At this comment, Roman turned to glare at his brother. “Oh, shut up,” he hissed softly, in a tone that made Remus raise his eyebrows and chuckle in surprise. 

“I could just leave, you know?” he threatened. “Let’s see how useful I can be then.”

“Oh yeah?” Roman asked, tilting his head innocently. “And how would you get the answers you wanted?”

Remus glared at his brother. “Don’t care,” he shrugged. Yes, he wanted to know what Roman was doing and why he was so shady about it. But he wasn’t going to let Roman snap at him like that. He didn’t _have_ to know. “I can still leave.”

Roman rolled his eyes. “Do I have to explain, or what?”

There was a moment of silence. Remus didn’t respond, but he made a vague gesture with his hand, signaling for his twin to continue speaking. 

“Very well,” Roman sighed, clapping his hands together. “I have made a… _business_ out of selling an… experimental grey matter serum. Like the one-”

“The one you experimented on me, I get it,” Remus interrupted harshly. “I get it, carry on.”

And Roman did carry on, but not before glaring at his brother for interrupting like that. “Yeah,” he said. “Travis and I are talking about expanding.”

“Expanding how?” 

Roman shrugged. “He has connections.”

Right. The vaguest of all answers. Travis had ‘connections’. He was sure that wasn’t shady at all. No, this Travis-guy was a trustworthy guy. For sure. 

“And I could be useful in that?”

“Potentially.”

Remus hummed under his breath. He crossed his arms in front of his chest and leaned back in his seat, looking at his twin. “Right then,” he said. “Convince me.”

Roman blinked, clearly not having expected this answer. But honestly… Remus didn’t care. If it sounded good enough… he might consider it. Even if it meant having to work with Roman. If he could make some money off of it… just for a little bit. Just to pay off his debts. 

“It should pay well,” Roman shrugged. “Better than this, anyways. If all goes well, of course. I just need someone to negotiate with the Dragontooth. It would honestly be similar to what you’re doing now, just… the other side of things.”

“The other side?” Remus repeated with a slight frown, trying to figure out what that meant. If the Dragontooth was the other side… “Are you saying you’re responsible for The Gang going off like crazy?”

“It’s more Travis,” the older twin responded with a small gesture to his friend. “But yeah. Sort of. I plan on negotiating with them, but I need to get the Dragontooth on my side first.”

“You need to-” Remus stared at his brother for a second or two. Roman was… quite ambitious there, wasn’t he? But then again, he had always been ambitious. Both of them had been. “Okay, so… you’re selling this… superpower drug to a gang-”

“Diluted, I should add,” Roman interrupted. “So its effects are usually temporary, rather than permanent changes. But yeah.”

“Right.” Remus gave Roman one look, before he continued. “So you sell that to a gang, through _me,_ and now you need to sell it to another gang, again through me, to get that gang on your side?”

Even for Roman, that was ridiculous. And insanely dangerous. Getting involved with the Dragontooth _and_ The Gang? Yeah, that was insane. But that had never stopped Roman Silver before, so he shouldn’t even be surprised at this point. 

“Pretty much,” Roman said with a nod. “But you left out the fact that I already have someone else to mingle with The Gang, and your job will involve something similar to that. On top of that, you will still be selling them the drug. It should potentially expand more, but that will come later on.”

This was ridiculous. It was dumb, dangerous and ridiculous. It was more than certain to get him killed sooner or later. It was so goddamn stupid. But even then… he was considering it.

Remus nodded, staring at Roman for a second or two as he weighed his options. It was so stupid, but… was it really that bad? The money aspect was very appealing to him. And what did he have to do, anyways? Just talk to some people and sell them some superpower drugs? That wasn’t that big a deal. Just for a little bit. 

“Very well,” he finally said. “I’m in.”


	5. Blood Runs Down the Walls

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Mentions of drug dealing, minor character death, murder

And so it happened. Remus took the job, and not much changed. He still delivered unmarked envelopes, he still got money for it. Only now, he sometimes had to meet up with people. Very often in dark, shady alleys. He would deliver a message to someone, or get a message to deliver to Roman — who never used his true name. Caesar seemed to be the name he preferred. And other times, he would make a deal with one of the Dragontooth members, just between them. He’d sell some of the weird superpower drug he managed to sneak out of Raven’s lab, in secret and for far more money than he would have if it had been sold directly by Roman, or he would pay someone for some extra information. And he knew he shouldn’t, but… he enjoyed it. Something about this all. The sneaking around, the secrecy, the _money._ It paid so goddamn well, that should make up for anything. He could forget Roman’s stupid attitude for the amount of money he made every week. 

Time passed and this business thing, whatever it was supposed to be, grew quickly. Roman recruited some more people and he got more resources. Jobs paid more, too. But while Roman had had all this talk about ‘wanting to fix the city’, ‘stopping this ridiculous gang war’, all of that, it didn’t seem to be getting any better. In fact, it seemed to be getting _worse._ Now that the gangs were in possession of this drug that could grant them temporary superpowers — limited to mostly superhuman strength, but if injured, could also be used to heal slightly — they seemed to have even less limits than before all of this went down. But Roman didn’t seem to worry. Said it all had to become a little worse before it could get better. 

Remus continued his study. He finished it, and was able to pay off his student debt in no time. Even though this business paid _well,_ he still took up a few jobs here and there. He didn’t want his only job experience to be illegal. He wanted to get some experience in the field, for when he wanted to stop this whole charade. Besides, he actually _liked_ chemistry. He wanted to do something with it. He didn’t want his entire study to go to waste. Unlike Roman, he didn’t want this to be the direction he would take his life. Even though he learned to fight, to defend himself if he couldn’t use his powers, even though he learned how to use his powers to kick some ass, he didn’t want this to be the rest of his life.

But he didn’t stop either. Even though he got a few jobs (all temporary), he didn’t stop. He liked the money, he told himself. But he knew that wasn’t all. He did truly like this job, as weird as it sounded. The danger aspect of it? Maybe. The illegal aspect? Perhaps. He didn’t know, but he liked it. He liked connecting with the people in the Dragontooth, getting to know some of them. He had bought multiple phones in order to be able to communicate with them. He liked the contact. It was weird. But he didn’t mind this job at all. He didn’t have to deal with Roman all that much, so it was good. 

It was about 4 years after they started this whole thing. The group of people Roman had gathered around him had grown significantly. There was talk of setting up a lab of their own entirely, where they had a little more freedom in their experiments. Because while they had all the space in the world to create their little serum, Roman wanted more. He always wanted more. Bigger, better, more, always. He wanted more space and he didn’t want anyone else breathing down his neck. But that was still a work in progress. 

One fateful day, Remus came to Roman’s house — he had moved out of the apartment a few years ago, now living in a bigger house in the city centre. Apparently, the older of the two had a request to make. Of course he did. It was always ‘business’ they talked about. Neither of them had much to say to the other if it didn’t have to do with business. Roman didn’t seem to be able to think about anything else, and Remus didn’t care about his brother enough to even try to talk to him. He was fine with this. 

“So, what’s the deal now, Ro-Ro?” Remus asked as he walked into the living room. He immediately got to the point, knowing there was no reason to start with some smalltalk. Neither of them were waiting for _that._

Roman gave his brother a glare as he followed, his hands in his pockets. “I need you to take someone out?”

Remus snorted. “What did you have in mind?” he asked teasingly. “A fancy restaurant? A movie? Netflix and chill?” 

“I was thinking you take a gun and shoot them,” the other responded with a quick roll of his eyes. 

For a second, Remus looked at his twin with an amused grin, waiting for him to reveal his _actual_ request. Because surely, he couldn’t be serious about this? He couldn't actually be asking Remus to _kill_ someone, right?

But the longer Remus looked at him, the clearer it became that, no, he was dead serious. Roman was actually asking him to blow someone’s brains out. 

“You’ve got to be joking,” he said with a soft scoff. Roman was an idiot, if he really thought this was a good idea. 

“Do you really think I would do that?” Roman crossed his arms as he looked at his younger brother. “No, I’m serious. I heard someone might snitch, and I can’t have that. So… I need someone to take care of them.”

“And why me?” Remus asked, taking a challenging step closer to his brother. “You have dozens of people at your command, why not pick any of them? I’m sure some of them have killed people before.”

“This needs to be confidential,” the older twin shrugged. “You were here from the start, I’m not going to ask some new guy to take care of this. Besides, I figured that with your powers…”

“Yeah, and how about you? You can kill people with a touch, how about that?”

“You’re better fit,” Roman said simply. “I have other things to take care of, remember? I don’t have time for this.”

Remus rolled his eyes. Fucking typical. Roman could very well do this job himself. If he wanted this guy dead so badly, he could just kill them himself. But he didn’t want to get his precious, lethal hands dirty. But Remus wasn’t intent on doing this either. He hadn’t killed anyone before, and he wasn’t planning on doing so, because he knew that once he started offing people, he would have a much harder time going back, away from all of this. And Roman could see that. 

“I’ll pay you for it, you know?” he said calmly, as if he had been planning to do that from the beginning. 

Now, that was something that did get Remus’ attention. Yes, he did have money, but he’d spent a lot of it on paying off his student loans, and he liked having some extra money. Just in case he needed it later on. “How much?”

“Ten thousand.”

“Make it twenty, then,” Remus said. He knew Roman would never accept double his initial offer, but Remus also knew that he wouldn’t kill someone for ten thousand dollars. He wanted just a little more than that. As stupid as it sounded; ten thousand dollars was a lot. But for ending someone’s life? No, he would need a little more. 

“Fifteen?”

Remus bit his lip. “Seventeen.”

Another silence followed. Roman contemplated his chances and the offer. Truly, what was seventeen thousand dollars at this point? The serum sold well. And with its special properties, they could sell it at a much higher price than regular drugs. He’d have that money back in no time. 

“Fine,” he conceded. “There’s a gun on the table.” He nodded in the direction of the coffee table in the living room. “Along with some information on the guy. Make sure no one sees you. And let me know when it’s done.”

“Aye, aye, captain,” Remus muttered as he walked over to the table. There was a small plastic bag, containing what he assumed to be the gun and silencer, along with a small paper file on whoever he had to kill. He couldn’t believe that he was saying that. He couldn’t believe that he was actually going to kill someone. He was actually insane. He was an idiot. Why was he doing this again?

But he quickly shrugged off his doubt and grabbed the bag, giving Roman a bright smile as he did so. He could do this. He’d been involved in this business for a couple of years now. Surely, killing someone wouldn’t be that big a deal, right? 

It wasn’t long after that conversation that Remus left. He immediately went to the first costume store he could find. He was well aware that he could not be seen doing the murder, or around the scene of the murder. So obviously, he needed a disguise. That’s why he went into the store, bought the first mask he found — Spider-Man — along with some gloves, and called it a day. 

Once he got home, Remus read the file one whoever he was supposed to kill. Jeremy Coal. He’d seen them a couple of times, but he didn’t know them that well. They were mostly hired to do communication with The Gang, since Travis had apparently made promotion. Remus didn’t know what that meant just yet, since he hadn’t seen him in a while. But it definitely meant that he wasn’t able to do his previous job anymore. So they got a new guy. Apparently, this new guy wasn’t too good at their job. 

He really wasn’t looking forward to this. He hadn’t exactly killed anyone before, and it was definitely a lot more out there than what he had been doing before. But… money was a strong motivator, it seemed. 

That night, well after midnight, Remus made his way over to Jeremy’s house. He didn’t drive; couldn’t have his car be spotted there, after all. Instead, he walked over there. Jeremy didn’t live in a good area, there was quite a bit of gang violence around, and most people didn’t want to be found out there this time of night. But luckily for Remus, he was part of Roman’s organisation, which meant that anyone who would even try to do anything to him would end up looking far worse than he would. There wasn’t anything they could do to hurt him, anyways. Not with his powers and his skillset.

There were still a couple of lights on upstairs, Remus noticed to himself. He snuck into the backyard and put on the mask and black gloves. He felt the gun burning in his pocket and his fingers brushed over the cold metal. He could do this. He could. It was just one quick moment. Just pull the trigger and it would be over. He could do this. 

Remus walked up to the door and tried to open it. Unsurprisingly, it was locked. But Remus had no worries there. He just had to push a little more, just put a little more force behind it — ‘signs of breaking and entering,’ some TV-detective echoed in his brain as he managed to force the door open. But that was okay. He didn’t have any ties to Jeremy, no one knew of his or Jeremy’s involvement with Roman. It was okay. 

Opening the door had made more sound than Remus would have liked and he stopped dead in his tracks to listen. But he heard nothing. It seemed that Jeremy hadn’t heard anything. That was good. 

Remus slowly made his way through the dark living room, making sure not to bump into anything or make any sound that would give him away. He just wanted this to be quick and quiet. Just get in, kill Jeremy and get out before anyone else could disturb them. That was his plan. This didn’t need to be any more complicated than that. 

He made it through the living room quite easily, walking into the hallway. A vague light shone down from the floor above him and Remus heard someone — Jeremy, clearly — walking around and humming to themself. He waited at the bottom of the stairs, seeing a shadow pass by the stairs. He waited for a few seconds, but finally deemed it safe enough to go upstairs and try it. 

As quickly and quietly as possible, Remus made his way upstairs. Once he got to the top of the stairs, still staying low to make sure Jeremy couldn’t see him, he looked around, trying to find the person he was looking for. This person in question was in the bedroom in the front of the house. Great. Show time, then. 

Remus straightened his back and walked into the room, stopping in the doorway to make sure Jeremy couldn’t escape. His fingers curled themselves around the gun in his pocket as he pulled it out and aimed it at the target. Oh God, he had to aim. He’d never actually held a gun before, so how was he supposed to know what to do? 

Jeremy had their back turned to him, searching through their closet to find their nightwear. This gave Remus a bit of time to aim. He squeezed on eye shut in an attempt to make it easier. That’s what people did, right? He had been so busy trying to figure out what to do, that he didn’t notice that Jeremy had stopped looking through their closet entirely. 

“You might want to hurry up and get it over with,” they said, not even turning around to look at Remus. “Before your window closes.”

Admittedly, this caught Remus off guard. He hadn’t expected Jeremy to notice him, and he didn’t know how they did. His shadow, perhaps? 

“I’m not worried about that,” Remus responded, not lowering the gun in his hand, even when Jeremy turned around. 

“Oh, Spider-Man,” they hummed with a small smile. “Didn’t know you started killing people.”

Remus rolled his eyes behind the mask. “Clever,” he muttered. He looked at Jeremy for a moment and aimed, before he impulsively pulled the trigger. Caught off guard, Jeremy got hit in the chest. Not quite the heart, but still the chest area. They stumbled back and Remus immediately shot again. And just a couple more times, for good measure. Finally, he was sure that the other was dead and he took a moment or two to look at their body. They had been hit multiple times. In the chest, the shoulder and one in the side of the neck. It was a mess, to be fair. There was more blood than he had expected, too. Luckily, Jeremy didn't need to wear any of the clothes in their closet anymore. Blood stains wouldn't look well on anyone. 

And the weird thing was… Remus didn’t feel as bad as he thought he would. He felt something in his stomach, some jitters or nervosity. But it wasn’t the sick kind. It wasn’t the ‘oh my God, I just killed someone, I think I’m gonna be sick,’ kind. It was more… exhilaration. He just _killed_ someone. And he didn’t even feel bad. Jeremy had it coming. They had been suspicious. So… they probably caused this somehow. It wasn't his fault. He was just the messenger.

After a second or two, Remus left the room and went into the backyard again. There, he took off the gloves and the mask, storing them away. Holy shit. He just killed someone. Now he needed to get away.

Remus waited for a little while before he snuck out of the backyard and went back home, making sure to hide the gun and mask as he did so. 


	6. Nocturnal Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: minor character death, murder, violence, broken bones

It didn’t just stop at one murder. Remus had to admit he didn’t  _ hate  _ the killing thing. And the money definitely wasn’t bad either. It would seem that Roman was rather satisfied as well, because Remus kept getting these jobs. And with every time he did it, he got better at it. He learned how to not make any noise. He learned how to aim, he learned the quickest way to kill someone. And, when he had gotten better and stealthier, when he got more confident, he learned how to have a little bit of fun. He started using knives rather than guns, he dragged it out a little bit. He didn’t just want to kill them, no, he also wanted to have a little fun. And he had to send a message to the other people out there, right? 

Not too long after he started, Remus felt like he needed a mask of his own. He couldn’t go around killing people as an unfriendly neighbourhood Spider-Man, as funny as it might be. He could do a bit of sowing himself, so he could make himself a suit. At least temporarily. He wasn’t sure if it could last, but it was something. He didn’t have a better idea anyways. Maybe he would come across something or someone else later on. 

And, he got a name to match the new look. Crocodile. 

Remus wasn’t the only one who grew and evolved. No, the entire organisation grew, evolved. They finally set up their own lab; Thornwall. A very legitimate business, performing legitimate experiments and jobs. But obviously, it was just a facade, something pretty to hide the less legal experiments that they actually performed. Experiments on people, willing as well as unwilling. Experiments with new serums or weapons. Not exactly the most legal of tasks and definitely not anything the other labs in the vicinity wanted to be associated with. 

They got more and more people to join. A lot of people stayed in the background. People like Raven Tess, who was in charge of running experiments and finding the right people for their experiments. People like Morpheus, who were in charge of interrogation. And people like Simone Charles, better known as Eve, who was meant to be not much more than a bodyguard. A glorified security system. 

The promotion Travis had made allowed him to work in closer ties to The Gang. The serum he had bought off of Roman had given him superhuman agility, reflexes and durability, as well as enhanced healing. After he had gotten a suit, red from top to bottom, except for a few black details here and there — black boots, gloves and a black weapons belt — he could start working more in the field. This gained him the name Red Bandit, and The Gang, that was quickly connected to him, soon became known as the Red Gang. 

They gained name quite quickly. People knew who they were. And Remus had to admit… the longer this went on, the less he cared about trying to get out of all of this. He was okay with this being his life now. 

And finally, after a couple of years, Roman could start negotiations between the Red Gang and the Dragontooth. It took a while, but with all the connections he had made over the years, Roman was able to establish some sort of truce between the two gangs. Both of them were in leagues with him, and he was powerful enough that he could pull some strings and apply a little bit of pressure. Soon enough, they agreed. Peace was established. All in all, things were going pretty well. 

And then Alibi came. 

An annoying, meddlesome little fucker is what he was. And while he wasn’t the first wannabe-superhero in this city, he was definitely the most powerful and the most persistent. He seemed to be able to control the weather and turn invisible — hence the name Alibi. His powers were a real pain in the ass. But the fortunate part was that his hand to hand combat was seriously lacking. And that was exactly where Remus excelled. 

The first time they met, Remus was on a job. Trying to kill Wade Clay, who was suspected to be a leak. Roman said that a source told him that he might have a double agenda. And that meant- well, they had to eliminate the threat, obviously. That’s why Remus was here. In his house. Trying to kill him. 

Somehow, this annoying little hero had found out about him and his plans. How? Remus didn’t know. Maybe the kid had followed him, but he was sure to be inconspicuous, and he knew he was good at that. Maybe it was just beginner’s luck. Remus didn’t know and he hated it. 

One moment, he was towering over a tied up Clay, wielding a sharp knife. The guy had already been bruised and cut and Remus wasn’t planning on stopping just yet. But the next moment, he heard a shattering of glass and some kind of invisible force — wind, he learned rather quickly — knocked him over, throwing him into the wall. 

Remus huffed and jumped to his feet. Luckily, the wall took more damage than he did, and his ability to turn his skin into steel also diminished the pain. He hardly felt a thing. 

The Crocodile immediately turned around and in front of him, he saw a guy, dressed up in a black suit with some purple patches here and there. Most likely homemade, by the looks of it. It fit and it looked fairly neat, but it certainly wasn’t professional. Remus had enough experience to know. He had seen so many people around, trying to make it as a hero in a suit they had made or bought online. He could recognize them anywhere. 

Now, Remus heard the stories of a new hero going around town. An invisible vigilante, a lurking shadow, an anonymous hero. But he was far from scared or intimidated by the hero’s appearance. If anything, he was surprised that this guy had the guts to even try and fight him. But it was okay. He’d teach this fellow exactly what happened to anyone who tried to stand up to him. 

“A new face, huh?” Remus wondered softly as he stalked a little closer to the new hero. God, the poor soul was as tense as someone on death row. Which, of course, was true in a way, but still. 

He tried to seem confident, sure. But he was failing. His shoulders were too tense. He clenched and unclenched his fists in a way that betrayed the fact that he was scared. Clearly inexperienced, but trying to take on the big names anyways. He could always try, there was no harm in that. Although he definitely wouldn’t get away from this unharmed. 

“So, what were you thinking?” Remus continued, seeing the hero tense up even more as he approached, getting almost too close for comfort. “You wanna get famous, so you decide to take on the biggest, baddest wolf in the area? Ballsy move.”

The hero shrugged, trying to seem nonchalant about it. “I was in the area,” he responded. “Thought I’d see what you were trying to do here. Didn’t think it would be much good.”

Crocodile chuckled at this, stopping just in front of the newcomer. “I’d say it’s none of your business,” he started. “But I know your type, and I don’t think that will help.”

“My type?”

Remus hummed. “Stupid, reckless and arrogant enough to think you can take me on,” he said with a nod. “Your type never listens to words of reason, so I suppose I’ll just have to let you know you’re out of your league otherwise.”

Before the hero wannabe could respond, Remus had thrown a punch, hitting the hero’s jaw with enough force to throw him off balance. Crocodile then swiped his legs away. 

He was about to pin the hero to the floor, but before he could, another gust of wind pushed him away, giving the younger hero plenty of time to get up. It would seem that the poor idiot had forgotten about Remus’ advantage of having steel skin — either that, or he truly did not know, because he ran up to the villain and tried to aim a punch. 

Even if it wouldn’t hurt him, Remus wouldn’t allow the other to land a punch. It was a thing of dignity. Just because he could stand getting hit, didn’t mean that he would let himself  _ be  _ hit. He blocked the punch easily and retaliated with a jab to the ribs. As the hero doubled over, Remus followed up with a knee kicked up, connecting to the hero’s nose — as proven by the crack that filled the room. 

The hero refused to let himself be beaten, though. He got up, despite the throbbing ache, and balled his fists. He used his powers to pin Remus to the wall once more and rushed up, throwing a punch. For the hell of it, Remus let the other hit, knowing very well that it would hurt the young hero more than it would hurt him. 

It turned out that he was right. As the young hero’s fist made contact with Remus’ jaw, a crack sounded and he flinched back, cradling his fist. 

“Oh dear,” the Crocodile hummed, fighting against the grin on his face. “You wanna try doing that again?”

The hero glared at him, straightening up again. He seemed to consider striking again, but reconsidered, got distracted for just a second. And in that second, Remus leaped forwards. 

As he got distracted, the force pinning Crocodile against the wall disappeared and the villain took advantage of this by jumping at the hero and landing another hit against the other’s jaw, making him stumble back. Remus immediately followed this up with yet another hit. And a couple more for good measure. After all, this excuse for a hero had to learn somehow, right?

It didn’t take long before the hero tried to get out, realising that, right now, there wasn’t much that he could do. Right now, he wasn’t able to fight this man. But Remus wouldn’t let him get away that easily. Just before the newcomer could turn invisible, Crocodile grabbed a knife out of his boot and threw it at the hero. The weapon easily embedded itself in his shoulder, and the hero let out a soft gasp as he stupidly pulled the weapon out of his skin, dropping it to the ground with a loud clattering noise. 

Remus just grinned at the other and let him get away, not wanting to waste more effort on this wannabe. He wasn’t a match for him anyways. 

The hero turned invisible and got out. At least, that’s what Remus thought, since he wasn’t bothered by the other after that. 

“So… where were we, huh?” he wondered as he grabbed his knife and turned back to Clay. 

The other gave Remus a look. A look he had seen so often; Clay was tired, ready to give up, but too stubborn to give Remus the satisfaction. Of course, everyone carried that look at some point. To Remus, it was only an indication. He was getting close to the victim’s breaking point, but he wasn’t there just yet. He just needed to push a little more, then. Luckily, he enjoyed doing just that. 

Crocodile stopped in front of Clay and grinned. “Right, I was supposed to kill you, wasn’t I? Well, wouldn't want to disappoint, of course.” He looked around at the mess the fight between him and the hero had left, and the broken window. “I’m sorry about the mess. But I suppose you won’t have to deal with that for much longer.”

He gave Clay a broad smile as he turned back to the man. Clay himself did not answer, too terrified of the bloodstained knife right in front of him. He knew that nothing he could say could change Remus’ mind, he knew that nothing he could do could save him. He was no match for the Crocodile. No one was. By God, he was terrified. But he’d been stuck in this godforsaken chair long enough to know that nothing he could do would possibly be enough to save him. 

And, of course, he was right. Remus spent a little bit more time playing around with this man. A few cuts here and there, a couple of punches, a little bit of taunting, just like he always did. Anything he could do to drag this out a bit more. Anything he could do to make it more fun for himself, and more torturous for Clay. 

When he felt he was about done with all of this, Remus got up and took a step back, before plunging the knife into Clay’s abdomen and pulled it down, creating a large and deep gash across the victim’s stomach. 

“I’m afraid this will have to be the end of our thing, Wadey,” he pouted as he pulled back. “It has been fun, though. I will cherish these memories forever and all that.”

It was just one of many murders to him. But, in a way, he really would cherish this night forever. After all, it wasn’t every day that some new hero tried to attack him. He doubted he’d ever hear of this hero again, but it was a nice memory. 

Of course, as it would turn out, he was quite wrong on that. 


	7. Sing for Absolution

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: breaking in, mentions of character death
> 
> This chapter makes a reference to (mostly) the ending of chapter 14 of Dance, Fucker Dance (Teach Me To Fight). There are also a couple very vague references to chapter 3 (Visitation of the Ghost) and chapter 23 (Truth's Unwinding). Just for context haha

It had been five years since that first meeting. And now Remus was here, in one of the many houses he had bought over the years, trying to figure out how to kill Roman before Roman killed  _ him. _ Not that he worried about getting his ass killed just yet, since nothing had been able to even hurt him. But he knew that Roman was coming for him. And he knew Roman had resources. He could get people to try and invent something that would be able to pierce his skin somehow and he’d be fucked. Remus needed to prevent that. He needed to kill Roman first.

The struggle was trying to figure out how to achieve that. Roman was smart. He had many people around him. Remus was just by himself. Sure, he had contacts here and there. He still knew people in the Dragontooth who would be more than willing to help him out. But they were more useful when it came to information or resources. They were useless in a fight. Even with their superpower drug, they could not beat people like Dragon or Red Bandit in a fair fight. Even if a fight skewed in their favour, they’d have a hard time. No, he couldn’t ask them for help. He couldn’t risk them getting themselves killed. After all, he might need them later on. 

Even after years of working together, Remus did not know what to do about Roman. That had to be the most frustrating thing ever. He hoped he’d have something better by now, but alas. Nothing. 

There was one thought, but… he’d truly be desperate if he went that way. He knew that Alibi was a strong hero. He was persistent, too. After all, even after all their fights, the many broken bones and near-death experiences, he was still going. He was still trying to stop Remus from doing his thing. He was like a weed; you could never truly get rid of him. But even with that knowledge… Remus really didn’t want to ask the hero for help. That was probably the most humiliating thing he could think of. Imagine if people found out that  _ Crocodile _ had to ask help from a hero who could hardly even hurt him. No, he didn’t want that reputation.

Which is exactly why he hated the fact that this was his best plan so far. Could he seriously not come up with something better? That was almost an insult to himself.

Unfortunately, it seemed that he really didn’t have anything better. Nothing that he could think of would be good enough to get to Roman. Nothing could get him past Roman’s lines of defense and actually  _ kill  _ him. Nothing but the name of that stupid hero. 

So Remus tried to find the hero. He moved to another house, closer to the city, and tried to figure out how to find Alibi. But he couldn’t seem to figure out a pattern. There was a blog, www.heroic-crime-fighting-updates.com, ran by a student. Patton Morgan Heart. It was an amateur blog, but still provided enough information about anything that happened in the city. Remus made sure to check the updates and read about the sightings. But there was no pattern. Nothing made sense of him. For several weeks, he tried to figure out where to go if he wanted to speak to Alibi. But he couldn’t seem to find any logic or reason. It seemed that Alibi didn’t have much of a pattern in his actions and usually, when Remus heard something happening, the hero was gone before he made it to the scene.

Now, there was someone who could help him — Patton Heart himself. Since the organisation had kept an eye on Patton for a while now, Remus knew exactly where he lived. If he wanted to, he could pay the student a visit. But it would hurt his pride if he had to ask help from a literal kid. Patton couldn’t be much older than twenty, twenty-one. Was Remus really supposed to get help from  _ him _ ? He’d rather die. 

Except he didn’t. Not really. He didn’t want to die just yet. So, after another week or so, Remus finally decided to find the guy the organisation usually just called the Journalist. 

Patton lived in a small apartment in the city. It was old, Remus knew that as soon as he walked up to the building. He made sure not to show his face to any cameras as he entered the building. One never knew where Roman or his people were hiding, trying to find him, and he definitely couldn’t trust any cameras. 

Remus snuck inside and immediately headed for the third floor. He walked to the last door and crouched down. As he had walked up to the place, it didn’t seem like anyone was in. There had been no lights on, and he hadn’t been able to spot any movement inside either. So, Remus guessed he’d just have to pick the lock. A task that was laughably easy. Probably came with the old building thing. It wasn’t exactly a modern lock, anyways. 

As it turned out, no one was home. Surprise, surprise. Remus decided to wait. He looked around in Patton’s apartment a bit, checked out the bathroom, the bedroom and some of the kitchen cabinets and its contents. But even after that, the student still hadn’t come home. So Remus sat down on the kitchen counter and smoked a cigarette as he waited. One turned into two rather quickly and finally, Patton came back home. Took him long enough. 

It took a little bit of convincing and a bit of pressure, but Remus finally managed to get the information he needed. I’m sure you all remember how that went, so you don’t need a full account of that meeting. 

Remus got the information and he was finally able to track down Alibi. They talked, met up and the rest is history. 

One thing that Remus did not expect when they started this weird cooperation was the fact that he actually started to feel comfortable with the hero. That he actually let down his guard and opened up a bit. Sure, it wasn’t much. But for him… it was. He told Alibi-  _ Virgil _ his real name. He told him about Roman. About their relationship. That was a big deal. He never told anything to  _ anyone.  _ Not when he was sober, at least. 

He didn’t know what it was, but something about Virgil made him feel safe and comfortable. It made him feel like he could open up and not be stabbed in the back. Virgil made him feel things that he hadn’t felt in twenty years. And he didn’t know how. He didn’t even know that he was capable of feeling things like that. He wasn’t aware that people could still make him feel safe. He wasn’t aware that he could feel like he didn’t have to watch his back constantly. Meeting Virgil made him feel all kinds of things that he had forgotten about. Things that he had heard about but never felt for himself. He didn’t know what it was, but it confused him to no end. 

Remus didn’t know when that started to change. Looking back on it, it might have been their first actual fight together — even though it wasn’t much of a fight. Back in Patton’s place, when they were trying to protect Patton from Roman’s murderous friends. He fought the four henchmen, Virgil saved his ass and then flew to the other side to take care of Marksman. 

As Virgil flew to the other side of the road, Remus went back to make sure Patton was okay. Of course, he kept an eye on the building opposite him, where he could just see the two figures in their short scuffle. 

A bright flash illuminated the room, followed by a clap of thunder loud enough to make the ground shake. And not long after that, Virgil returned with the Crocodile Hunter.

As the hero came back, Remus felt something pull in his stomach. He watched Virgil with a grin as the hero walked into the apartment, looking fine as ever. Remus didn’t understand what it was. He brushed it off as relief at seeing that his partner was back and he was okay. Relief that he didn’t have to sort out the mess it would have been if Virgil had died up there. But part of him knew that wasn’t it. 

He knew that it wasn’t it when the two of them were alone, with Patton packing stuff to take with him into hiding. He knew that it wasn’t relief when he walked up to Virgil, standing behind him with their bodies  _ so  _ close together. He knew that it wasn’t it when he teased Virgil about caring for him, when Virgil responded with a shake of his head and a smile that made Remus’ heart skip a beat. When Virgil nudged him with his elbow and Remus could have sworn that his skin started to burn at the brief contact. He knew it wasn’t just relief, but he pushed it aside. He didn’t feel things like  _ this.  _ It could never end well. In a business like this, with a life like he’d had… even if anyone would be interested in him, it would never end well. A normal life wasn’t for him. And he had accepted that. 

But it seemed like some part of him was reluctant to believe that. Over time, his feelings only grew stronger. Even if he tried to push them aside. That was what he had done with all of the feelings he’d felt over the years, and it always seemed to work. But not this time around. If anything, it seemed like they only grew stronger. 

And then Janus told him that Roman had found Virgil, and he just couldn’t contain it anymore. It was as if that was the final nudge he needed to admit that goddamnit, he  _ loved  _ this guy. And if Roman tried anything, if Roman even  _ thought  _ about hurting Virgil — and he would — Remus would tear him limb from limb with his bare hands. He didn’t care what anyone would say. He would tear Roman apart. He wanted to do so anyways, but… this news awakened something in him. Some fierce protectiveness that he didn’t know was there. He just… he couldn’t let Virgil get hurt. Especially not since he knew that Roman was just doing this to find  _ him.  _ It wasn’t about Virgil — even though Roman definitely had a lot of issues with the hero and he wouldn’t want to hold back. This was about Remus and about finding him. He couldn’t let that happen. He couldn’t allow Virgil to get hurt because of  _ him. _ He couldn’t do that to Virgil. He’d do anything to get Virgil out of there. 


	8. Aim, Shoot, Kill Your Leaders

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: smoking, mentions of murder and character death
> 
> This chapter takes place somewhere during Dance, Fucker, Dance, chapter 31 (Hide Your Head in the Sand)

Remus looked at the puff of smoke he released from his mouth. The cigarette in his hand smoked slightly as he turned his head to look outside. He was dead now. Roman was dead. And it was his doing. 

He should feel good about this right? That asshole, that prick who had manipulated him for most of his life, the cause of his misery, the reason he was the soulless monster he was now, he was finally _dead._ Remus should be happy about it. And he _was,_ he was so happy to know that he would never have to deal with his absolute devil of a brother ever again. But part of him felt… bad about it. 

But why did he feel so bad? He’d never felt bad about _anything_ he had ever done before. No murder, no torture, nothing. He knew that other people felt it was bad, but his feelings didn’t exactly reflect that. He didn’t mind. He didn’t _feel_ bad. He didn’t regret anything he had done. So why on Earth would he feel bad about killing his _brother,_ a guy who had tormented him for all these years? It didn’t make any goddamn sense. 

Roman got what he deserved. He got what he deserved for everything he had done. For the lives he had destroyed, for the people he had manipulated, killed and tortured. For everyone who he had fucked up like he had done to Remus. That motherfucker didn’t deserve to live the way he did. In luxury, unpunished for his crimes. He didn’t deserve that and he _knew_ it, just as well as Remus did. 

So why did he feel so bad? Why was he starting to regret what he had done? Why the _hell_ did he feel bad? He didn’t understand these goddamned emotions and he _hated_ it. He didn’t care for any of this shit. He had been fine living his life the way he had lived the past twenty years. Maybe not a normal life, but one that he understood. It was clear, it was familiar. He didn’t understand these fucking emotions. 

Yes, he killed Roman. The asshole who had fucked up his life for the past twenty years. But he couldn’t help but think of his brother. The one who had always stood up for him, who had always made sure to include him in their games. The one he had made elaborate fantasies with. Worlds to explore, too grand and beautiful to imagine. But that side of his brother had died years and years ago. And it wasn’t even Remus’ doing. 

He couldn’t help but wonder where it went wrong. How they ended up like this. How they ended up this messed up. God, Roman didn’t even feel like a brother anymore. He called Roman his brother, but he didn’t _feel_ like it. It was a title. A word. Meaningless. 

Even though Remus had never minded this life, he was starting to think about what might have been if none of this had happened. He could have had a normal job. Lived a normal life, like everyone. Settled down. After everything he had experienced, Remus doubted that he could ever have a normal life now, even if he tried. 

And that’s when he figured out the issue here. He didn’t feel bad about killing Roman. No, he was _glad_ he had done it — he should have done this sooner. 

What he felt bad about, was killing his _brother._ The real one. The memory he still had of Roman, back when they were kids. He knew that he could never think back at those moments without them being ruined by the knowledge of what that kid would become. Knowing what Roman would turn into, knowing what Roman would do to his own brother, to countless people he didn’t even take the time to know or remember. He could never enjoy those childhood memories without them being soiled and spoiled. 

Something burned in the corner of his eyes and Remus wiped it away with the back of his hand, immediately taking another drag of his cigarette. Goddamnit, Roman. Even when he was dead, he was still fucking with Remus’ head. It was good he wasn’t here to see this; he’d mistake this moment as Remus crying for the loss of him, rather than what it really was. No, he didn’t cry because he had lost a brother. But rather because he lost a life, lost memories. Even the _one_ thing that had been good in his life, his youth, his memories. Even that was tainted just by the presence of some fucking asshole. 

God, if Remus could go back in time. The things he would do. He could make sure that Roman never turned into Caesar. Maybe he could step in, stop him from turning into an asshole. And if that failed… well, he could always make sure that Roman got hit by a car on a sunny afternoon. It was extreme, but at least his memory would be good and pure. _He_ wouldn’t turn into the world’s most notorious villain, and it would spare hundreds of lives. It would save dozens of people from trauma. All for the greater good, right? 

Remus groaned to himself as he took another drag of his cigarette, struggling not to crush the cigarette in his fingers. He was so tense, he would probably snap the small object with the slightest twitch. It took every muscle in his body not to do exactly that. 

Tears kept burning in his eyes and he was furiously wiping them away. Virgil was downstairs and he could come up here any second. Remus couldn’t allow the other to see him like this. He knew Virgil would say that it was nothing to be embarrassed about, but Virgil clearly wasn’t _him._

The first tears he had shed in decades and it was because of his dead brother. Now if that wasn’t the biggest middle finger in history, he didn’t know what was. 

But _Virgil._ He was still here. Alive, too. The single most important person in Remus’ life. The only good thing he had going for him — don’t tell Patton or Janus. It was as if Remus’ heart could beat a little lighter now that he was thinking about the other, instead of Roman. Virgil was here, alive and as well as one could be after everything he’d been put through. At least he was free from Roman, too. 

If only Remus had been able to protect him from the torture Roman and the organisation had put him through. If only Remus had known about this sooner. Right now, the best he could do, was to take care of him, make sure he was okay. 

If Roman had never turned into the man he was, if Remus had never become the Crocodile, maybe he never would have met Virgil. He couldn’t imagine having to live like that. He could barely imagine how he had survived the past years without Virgil — no, that was an exaggeration, but that’s what people always said about their loved ones, right? 

Remus was never one to believe in the ‘all things happen for a reason’ kind of crap. He never believed in any deity who put people in each other’s paths. He never believed in determinism, fate or anything of the sort. But if there was something like that, if there was some sort of higher power or fate out there… he was glad that they let Virgil and him meet. He didn’t know what he had done without Virgil. 

It didn’t make it better. It didn’t make him hate Roman any less. He didn’t start to appreciate his life suddenly. His life had been a shithole and it always would be. It wasn’t necessarily a bad life; he had never struggled monetarily, he had never had to worry about money or food. But the fact that it wasn’t bad didn’t mean it was good. No, his life hadn’t been _good_ for him in the slightest. But at least he had Virgil. And that was something, right? 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahh that concludes this lil prequel! I hope you guys enjoyed, I am working on a sequel to DFD, which I will hopefully be able to start posting soon, once I figured out the final things here and there and once I've made some progress in writing it. 
> 
> Also, I have some ideas worked out for backstories for most of my OC villains, so if anyone is interested, I can make a lil prequel for them as well. Either way, stay tuned for more, hopefully soon!

**Author's Note:**

> Heya!! Here's just a little prequel for one of my fics, Dance, Fucker, Dance. If you found this fic first, I think it would definitely be best to read the other fic first, since the final chapter of this will spoil the end of dfd. If you already read the fic, please do enjoy!! I'm very excited about this universe and I will definitely be writing more in this, so if you're interested... stay tuned


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